Ok I'm now at Virginia Tech persuing my grad studies..
Well there was a lot I should have written before, funny incedents..weird episodes..accidents...discoveries...but I did not do that then..and now I'm short of time to fill it up..so I'll just procrastinate this for the time being...will come to it when I have more time on hands...
As of now, I wanna write about the present challenges that I'm facing..challenges and othr things as well...why is everything happening at the same time! I can not enjoy it fully and I can't give all my attention to my work....ufff!
But, I'm loving each moment of it..Thanks to my dear Baba, I feel totally protected and being taken care of. Love You..
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
world coming to an end....
Well there are many things that have made me think seriously about this. The world is coming to an end. I read about it and heard from some peole that within 15 yrs the world will come to an end.
Swami will be here for another 15 yrs, physically. And, He has come to start Sathya Yuga again. So, the world is not coming to an end but the Kali age is sure gonno come to an end in the next fifteen yrs. I am sure I will see more than I can imagine at this time. I will live to see the Sathya Yuga starting after fifteen yrs. I will live to see the bad people repenting, coming in Sai fold, dying if they do not accept and acknowledge God's presence. I am sure I will be an eye witness to the end of Kali and embarkment of Sathya age.
I wonder what role I will play in the next age, in Sai's mission. Will I be of any use to Him? If not, my life isn't worth a penny. For, I've been in His fold since I was 2, and if still He doesn't choose me to be of service, this life is hopeless and useless. And the useless will come to an end in 15 yrs. But how can I be useless? God has incarnated to make us come to Him. He definitely loves me and cares for my upliftment. When Lord Krishna has Himself descended on this land, where is the need fo me to think what will become of me? He is there to take care of me and all my worries. I am His child. He will give me something to do I am sure. If it were not for His will, I would never have even thought so far. He is the cause, He is the thought and He Himself is the solution.
Swami, I am ready, for all the tests that You have in store for me. Please bless me and allow me to pass them all and be of service to You. I love You Ma.
Swami will be here for another 15 yrs, physically. And, He has come to start Sathya Yuga again. So, the world is not coming to an end but the Kali age is sure gonno come to an end in the next fifteen yrs. I am sure I will see more than I can imagine at this time. I will live to see the Sathya Yuga starting after fifteen yrs. I will live to see the bad people repenting, coming in Sai fold, dying if they do not accept and acknowledge God's presence. I am sure I will be an eye witness to the end of Kali and embarkment of Sathya age.
I wonder what role I will play in the next age, in Sai's mission. Will I be of any use to Him? If not, my life isn't worth a penny. For, I've been in His fold since I was 2, and if still He doesn't choose me to be of service, this life is hopeless and useless. And the useless will come to an end in 15 yrs. But how can I be useless? God has incarnated to make us come to Him. He definitely loves me and cares for my upliftment. When Lord Krishna has Himself descended on this land, where is the need fo me to think what will become of me? He is there to take care of me and all my worries. I am His child. He will give me something to do I am sure. If it were not for His will, I would never have even thought so far. He is the cause, He is the thought and He Himself is the solution.
Swami, I am ready, for all the tests that You have in store for me. Please bless me and allow me to pass them all and be of service to You. I love You Ma.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Jahan nahi chainaa....vahan nahi rehnaa
Not really dukhi mann mere...but yes sun mera kehna...jahan nahi chaina..vahan nahi rehna
I resigned yesterday. Without any admits in hand yet. Without any other backup obviously. No, I have not quit yet. I get relieved three months from the day my resignation is approved. So, it actually is a long time.
Just that I let the bird in hand fly off, and will now wait for others in the bush. :)
Simply putting, even in worst case, when I do not get aid and do not go to US for studies, I will switch, may be in a real hurry. Whatever be the case, I guess even the worst will be better than coming to office daily and doing nothing. Nothing, that's exactly what I have been doing since last one month, no let me not lie here, since last 7 weeks or may be more. So, in a nutshell, if I am rusting, I should get the taste of the real world. I must struggle, I must fight to survive. That is what life is all about. Challenges and risks. And, I just accepted one. After a long time though.
It's been more than 20 months when I joined this firm. And, obviously I did not join to chat and orkutting all the 6 hours I am in front of the PC. The rest I spend by eating, chatting, drinking tea, frequent trips to the loo and using the office free local telephone. That's what I have been doing lately. And, I don't think I actually need to increase my typing skills by practicing chatting with four friends at a time. Nor do I need to know about every ones life by poking my nose in their scrap books and making up stories as to what might have happened actually which made them write those scraps. I did not do my graduation to excel in these skills. These I already had. And my company is just not making me what I am not and want to be.
I always thought I did not have a dream. That there were people who knew what they want from life, but I did not. I was wrong. I know what I want. Thanks to the company I am in, i know I do not wanna chat all my life. I do not wanna see orkut's blue page all through the day. I want to work. I want to use my grey cells. I want to live a meaningful and challenging life, rather than a slow, monotonous and easily earned one. It is so good to know that I had a dream all along. Now, having resigned makes me feel so strong and bold. I am not afraid of what may happen. I am just ready to take the risk. Risk that I have to take for my dreams to come true. This is definitely a small price.
Dreams do not come free
They charge you, your comforts your sleep
If it is what you want,
Be ready to face it all
Pack the luxuries and inertia, these you should not keep
Only let your confidence and hardwork accompany you
On this journey, and be what you want to be.
You have one life, ypou have one chance
You have this once, to prove yourself
Go, reach out, shoot
Put back all fears on shelf
Failure tastes better than regret.
Move it, whatever you dream you definitely shall get
I resigned yesterday. Without any admits in hand yet. Without any other backup obviously. No, I have not quit yet. I get relieved three months from the day my resignation is approved. So, it actually is a long time.
Just that I let the bird in hand fly off, and will now wait for others in the bush. :)
Simply putting, even in worst case, when I do not get aid and do not go to US for studies, I will switch, may be in a real hurry. Whatever be the case, I guess even the worst will be better than coming to office daily and doing nothing. Nothing, that's exactly what I have been doing since last one month, no let me not lie here, since last 7 weeks or may be more. So, in a nutshell, if I am rusting, I should get the taste of the real world. I must struggle, I must fight to survive. That is what life is all about. Challenges and risks. And, I just accepted one. After a long time though.
It's been more than 20 months when I joined this firm. And, obviously I did not join to chat and orkutting all the 6 hours I am in front of the PC. The rest I spend by eating, chatting, drinking tea, frequent trips to the loo and using the office free local telephone. That's what I have been doing lately. And, I don't think I actually need to increase my typing skills by practicing chatting with four friends at a time. Nor do I need to know about every ones life by poking my nose in their scrap books and making up stories as to what might have happened actually which made them write those scraps. I did not do my graduation to excel in these skills. These I already had. And my company is just not making me what I am not and want to be.
I always thought I did not have a dream. That there were people who knew what they want from life, but I did not. I was wrong. I know what I want. Thanks to the company I am in, i know I do not wanna chat all my life. I do not wanna see orkut's blue page all through the day. I want to work. I want to use my grey cells. I want to live a meaningful and challenging life, rather than a slow, monotonous and easily earned one. It is so good to know that I had a dream all along. Now, having resigned makes me feel so strong and bold. I am not afraid of what may happen. I am just ready to take the risk. Risk that I have to take for my dreams to come true. This is definitely a small price.
Dreams do not come free
They charge you, your comforts your sleep
If it is what you want,
Be ready to face it all
Pack the luxuries and inertia, these you should not keep
Only let your confidence and hardwork accompany you
On this journey, and be what you want to be.
You have one life, ypou have one chance
You have this once, to prove yourself
Go, reach out, shoot
Put back all fears on shelf
Failure tastes better than regret.
Move it, whatever you dream you definitely shall get
Monday, March 12, 2007
rim jhim rim jhim
wow....rains always do sth to me...
I was half in depression after the news of my batch mates promotion was brought up again by a friend and half in frustration with my own job today. I could do anything but concentrate. All of a sudden when I get up, I see this fantastically hued sky...orange red pink....awesome and by the time I have a cup of tea in my hands, I see its raining blissfully. AAh......its wonderful.......
Its amazing how rain washes away all the dirt, how it has a purifying effect on even me. It certainly gave me time to enjoy it fully....had I been very busy I would have missed it. It showed me the brighter part of my situation. Given a choice between sitting at computer and looking out of the window, I would never want that my choice should be the former.
rim jhim rim jhim
rum jhum rum jhum.....
wow evthing looks sooo enrapturingly beautiful :)
I was half in depression after the news of my batch mates promotion was brought up again by a friend and half in frustration with my own job today. I could do anything but concentrate. All of a sudden when I get up, I see this fantastically hued sky...orange red pink....awesome and by the time I have a cup of tea in my hands, I see its raining blissfully. AAh......its wonderful.......
Its amazing how rain washes away all the dirt, how it has a purifying effect on even me. It certainly gave me time to enjoy it fully....had I been very busy I would have missed it. It showed me the brighter part of my situation. Given a choice between sitting at computer and looking out of the window, I would never want that my choice should be the former.
rim jhim rim jhim
rum jhum rum jhum.....
wow evthing looks sooo enrapturingly beautiful :)
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
betrayed!
The world looked so promising
The people so happy and loving
I'd started planning my life
The ways I could bring evone a smile
Oh I couldn't wait to look in your eyes
God's form on earth, my dear mother
I couldn't wait to be in your safe strong arms
I hope I look like you mother
God sent me saying He had two angels
Waiting eagerly to receive me
You both couldn't wait, He said, to see me
To kiss me, to hug me, to love me
You must all be waiting for your little princess
To hold me abreast, wrapped in a beautiful dress
Aah! You cheated me! My own angels!
It never occured to me only a prince rules
The hands that wouldve fed me are colored
With my own blood..
But wasn't I the very same blood, your own part
Not a cancerous growth made to throw apart!
Could there have been a bigger betrayal?
I was a gift I thought, God was answering your payer
It needs to be redefined, this word mother
The one who gives birth could certainly not be a murderer
I was a bud, you could've let me open up into a flower
And given me a chance to see this world
I promise I would've spread fragrance every hour
Had you not crushed me under your power
The people so happy and loving
I'd started planning my life
The ways I could bring evone a smile
Oh I couldn't wait to look in your eyes
God's form on earth, my dear mother
I couldn't wait to be in your safe strong arms
I hope I look like you mother
God sent me saying He had two angels
Waiting eagerly to receive me
You both couldn't wait, He said, to see me
To kiss me, to hug me, to love me
You must all be waiting for your little princess
To hold me abreast, wrapped in a beautiful dress
Aah! You cheated me! My own angels!
It never occured to me only a prince rules
The hands that wouldve fed me are colored
With my own blood..
But wasn't I the very same blood, your own part
Not a cancerous growth made to throw apart!
Could there have been a bigger betrayal?
I was a gift I thought, God was answering your payer
It needs to be redefined, this word mother
The one who gives birth could certainly not be a murderer
I was a bud, you could've let me open up into a flower
And given me a chance to see this world
I promise I would've spread fragrance every hour
Had you not crushed me under your power
Thursday, March 1, 2007
The Letter....
The print may have faded, the smell is still the same
The ink is still blue, there still is that name
In the same envelope, it still lies with me
The letter that he gave, will now go with me
Each time I read it, it looks as if he's there
Those tiny plump hands holding the pen tight
All his concentration on getting the spellings right
Writing it carefully deep in the night
He gave it on my bday, a letter of love
Of gratitude, of feelings, that a 5-yr old feels
Nothing had ever made me cry before
Unimaginable, the love that the 5-yr old heart conceals
Dearest, most beautiful mumma, I love you so muc
Don't you ever leave me, it says
I have asked God to keep us together
May we live in this house always
His mumma is still in the same house
God did hear that part
A busy manager lives down the street, I barely recognise
That 5-yr old still stays with me, in my heart
As I fold the letter back
I can't help but wonder
Why do children grow up
Why can't they be 5-yr olds forever?
The ink is still blue, there still is that name
In the same envelope, it still lies with me
The letter that he gave, will now go with me
Each time I read it, it looks as if he's there
Those tiny plump hands holding the pen tight
All his concentration on getting the spellings right
Writing it carefully deep in the night
He gave it on my bday, a letter of love
Of gratitude, of feelings, that a 5-yr old feels
Nothing had ever made me cry before
Unimaginable, the love that the 5-yr old heart conceals
Dearest, most beautiful mumma, I love you so muc
Don't you ever leave me, it says
I have asked God to keep us together
May we live in this house always
His mumma is still in the same house
God did hear that part
A busy manager lives down the street, I barely recognise
That 5-yr old still stays with me, in my heart
As I fold the letter back
I can't help but wonder
Why do children grow up
Why can't they be 5-yr olds forever?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Killing Wait
I wait for an answer...
An accept or a reject
You go or you don't
It all depends on whom they select
Letting imaginations run loose
I see myself getting enrolled
In the university I so much desire
I would give it my future to mould
You don't get any points for your dreams
The points are for reality, printed in black
The most pinching thing is that the game is fair
It's only talent that will crack
Now that it occurs with me
Do I realise how painful a wait can be
And I swear if I can ever help, I will save evone from the pain
I wont keep anyone waiting for an answer, what can I gain!
My blood pressure rises, and adrenaline gushes to brain
As I imagine what the misterious envelope may contain
Its not a matter of life and death, and yet I keep wondering
What if all this goes in vain?!
In front of a mother where will this agony stand
Who waits for her son to return from war
How much she wants him to be back safe in his own land
What does she feel when she's even deprived the news, good or bad
Could a wife think of anything when the husband is in coma?
The doctors tell her to wait and pray
Wait for a miracle, they say
Could her pain be measured on a scale, mine would be a peice of hay
My agony my pain my wait is all I care about
Once I get selcted, its only MY FUTURE Im concerned about
Lfe is not a bed of roses, the mother must understand
The husband may not ever be back, the wife may wish for a magic wand
An accept or a reject
You go or you don't
It all depends on whom they select
Letting imaginations run loose
I see myself getting enrolled
In the university I so much desire
I would give it my future to mould
You don't get any points for your dreams
The points are for reality, printed in black
The most pinching thing is that the game is fair
It's only talent that will crack
Now that it occurs with me
Do I realise how painful a wait can be
And I swear if I can ever help, I will save evone from the pain
I wont keep anyone waiting for an answer, what can I gain!
My blood pressure rises, and adrenaline gushes to brain
As I imagine what the misterious envelope may contain
Its not a matter of life and death, and yet I keep wondering
What if all this goes in vain?!
In front of a mother where will this agony stand
Who waits for her son to return from war
How much she wants him to be back safe in his own land
What does she feel when she's even deprived the news, good or bad
Could a wife think of anything when the husband is in coma?
The doctors tell her to wait and pray
Wait for a miracle, they say
Could her pain be measured on a scale, mine would be a peice of hay
My agony my pain my wait is all I care about
Once I get selcted, its only MY FUTURE Im concerned about
Lfe is not a bed of roses, the mother must understand
The husband may not ever be back, the wife may wish for a magic wand
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