The Killing Wait

I wait for an answer...
An accept or a reject
You go or you don't
It all depends on whom they select

Letting imaginations run loose
I see myself getting enrolled
In the university I so much desire
I would give it my future to mould

You don't get any points for your dreams
The points are for reality, printed in black
The most pinching thing is that the game is fair
It's only talent that will crack

Now that it occurs with me
Do I realise how painful a wait can be
And I swear if I can ever help, I will save evone from the pain
I wont keep anyone waiting for an answer, what can I gain!

My blood pressure rises, and adrenaline gushes to brain
As I imagine what the misterious envelope may contain
Its not a matter of life and death, and yet I keep wondering
What if all this goes in vain?!

In front of a mother where will this agony stand
Who waits for her son to return from war
How much she wants him to be back safe in his own land
What does she feel when she's even deprived the news, good or bad

Could a wife think of anything when the husband is in coma?
The doctors tell her to wait and pray
Wait for a miracle, they say
Could her pain be measured on a scale, mine would be a peice of hay

My agony my pain my wait is all I care about
Once I get selcted, its only MY FUTURE Im concerned about
Lfe is not a bed of roses, the mother must understand
The husband may not ever be back, the wife may wish for a magic wand

lost....

My mind may wander across the spaces
And fly on wings of dreams
Up above the clouds
And beyond the seas

Those are visits I occassionally make
But the mind has to rest and dreams have to break
For it is then that I see peace is where the heart is
And, heart is where love is

Mind may be swept and lost
As a dry leaf in storm
But the heart's needs a nest
To make life cosy and warm

Introspection.....

I had actually created two blogs ealier, I don't even remember the login now. I just got very fed up with orkut. I mean I was spying into people's scrapbooks, intruding their lives. But, we all know orkut SB is like a bulletin board. Anyhow, I AM feeling guilty, and I have wasted all day just viewing scrapbooks and filling up the missing peices to make up stories, and have been wise enough to get tensed over my own made up stories. :) That's me. I like getting tensed and worked up. The more remote my relationship with a person, the more worried I get. because I can't go and tell him or her what I think. huh. Weird I know.

So here I am. To spill out, to vomit, to relieve myself of my many worries. Worries that I tend to adopt, as people adopt children. I can live with many such children. Actually I can't. This tension is causing me health problems. Problems that people my age should not face. But that's life. It is going so fast these days for everyone, we merely get a chance to relax. That reminds me, I have to find a way to keep myself calm and relaxed and focussed. I've been told I should try meditation, but it's yet another worry I can't get up early enough to find time for that. May be its just an excuse. I do find time to put on a little make up if I wish, to fix breakfast at times, then why not this? huh. Ok, I'll try tomorrow morning.

This time around, I do not plan to invite my friends to view my blog and post comments. I would not serve the purpose of a diary then. I yet have to find if blogs who don't receive many visitors get deleted. You know, may be because of not increasing internet traffic and bloggers' popularity. In that case, I will have to invite people. Till then, I can write all that I want, with no inhibitions. WOW. :)