Sunday, July 20, 2008

resisting hard..

We are all so familiar with the Indian arranged marriage ways..and as weird and incredible as few things sound, like liking and trusting someone totally unknown, when it comes to us, when it comes down to picking someone up as a life partner, most of us Indians still can go for it..
I have not been against it, and yet, I never wanted to concede to the fact that my life partner can be picked up at random, by my parents, through matrimonial sites and newspaper ads..I still believed my Mr. Right would come out of the blue someday, we'll bump into each other on a busy shopping mall, get the bags mixed up, and finally starting with the first meeting while returning each other's stuff, we'll end up meeting each other on weekends and then finally, slowly, fall in love. I ain't ashamed to say I had a few crushes in a hurry, just to avoid being caught up in the arranged marriage trap, as it seemed to be..and well, as usual, my crushes were not worth pursuing, and I found myself looking at guys' profiles forwarded by my parents, and rejecting and choosing out of those pretty soon..

I hated to see girls getting excited to talk to someone they've just met once..I've criticized the stupidity of naive girls trying to believe that they have fallen in love with someone their parents chose for them, who they did not know for past 25 yrs and who suddenly seems to be so important..Well, I've also always noticed that whenever I criticize someone for something, I find myself in the same situation soon, repenting what I had said and understanding the situation much better, now that I am in someone else's boots..

I talk to this guy almost everyday on chat, exchange mails, behave like very much the same stupid girls when I see him online, have changed my schedule and am up till practically doing everything I thought atleast I would never do...I am for once in life sure I am not in love, but I do like him..knowing that it is like a big wonderful dream that alice is having again..and all this might be no more than a mirage, a mere reflection of the feelings I have hidden in myself, just enjoying the sudden revelation of so many feelings inside me which I wasn't aware of's fun to know facets of my own personality....