people must be laughing
when they see me pass by
i'm singing continuously to myself
out aloud...and not a bit shy

i run n stop..then run again..as if playing..
i dance n jump, not worried if neone was seeing..
and once in a while i give myself a hug
wishing it was someone else..feeling snug

ive caught myself smile a hundred times..
n the reason is him..
ive dreamed and planned tons of things
for d life i'll have with him :)

resisting hard..

We are all so familiar with the Indian arranged marriage ways..and as weird and incredible as few things sound, like liking and trusting someone totally unknown, when it comes to us, when it comes down to picking someone up as a life partner, most of us Indians still can go for it..
I have not been against it, and yet, I never wanted to concede to the fact that my life partner can be picked up at random, by my parents, through matrimonial sites and newspaper ads..I still believed my Mr. Right would come out of the blue someday, we'll bump into each other on a busy shopping mall, get the bags mixed up, and finally starting with the first meeting while returning each other's stuff, we'll end up meeting each other on weekends and then finally, slowly, fall in love. I ain't ashamed to say I had a few crushes in a hurry, just to avoid being caught up in the arranged marriage trap, as it seemed to be..and well, as usual, my crushes were not worth pursuing, and I found myself looking at guys' profiles forwarded by my parents, and rejecting and choosing out of those pretty soon..

I hated to see girls getting excited to talk to someone they've just met once..I've criticized the stupidity of naive girls trying to believe that they have fallen in love with someone their parents chose for them, who they did not know for past 25 yrs and who suddenly seems to be so important..Well, I've also always noticed that whenever I criticize someone for something, I find myself in the same situation soon, repenting what I had said and understanding the situation much better, now that I am in someone else's boots..

I talk to this guy almost everyday on chat, exchange mails, behave like very much the same stupid girls when I see him online, have changed my schedule and am up till late..am practically doing everything I thought atleast I would never do...I am for once in life sure I am not in love, but I do like him..knowing that it is like a big wonderful dream that alice is having again..and all this might be no more than a mirage, a mere reflection of the feelings I have hidden in myself, just enjoying the sudden revelation of so many feelings inside me which I wasn't aware of myself..it's fun to know facets of my own personality....

what if

as long as you have the "what ifs", as long as you have the haunting "buts"
you can not go anywhere, you might start off, but be sure you won't get much further

what if this doesn't work, what if this isn't it!
well, may be you are right..may be you are better off without moving, but just staying static at a point u can only get older u will not have any experience or any failures to call your own
even an insect grows old, so will you..your gray hair and those wrinkles is not with any contribution of your own..it's what time did to you..it would have in any case..

unless and until you leave the shores, you will never ever find the pearl. You want it?! You've ought to move your butt, get up, reach out, fight, do everything that it takes..what do you have to loose?! There is nothing that you can call yours, and that you can not do without. Take your chance! Take it this once..and you will not regret it..never!

abandoned

i smile nervously at strangers i see, thinking someone might smile back
abandoned by my own people, i'm trying to fill the space for love i lack

i knew an assuring look when i saw those eyes, but no more
i can't believe there was a time when i was so much adored

my life used to be so precious for them, but now, they just don't care
i feel so hopelessly alone and helpless, i'm only living on a prayer

when your most close people choose strangers for you to go to..
is it even worth resisting? Who do you call your own? Whom do you go to?
The world you called your own..is it even worth clinging to?

an idea, which hasn't taken a form yet
a tune, which isn't a song yet
a dream which isn't tangible yet
a story which doesn't have a hero yet..

i stay in a wonder-land, i thrive on dreams
i can talk to flowers and i can have songs for a meal
i can move around on a rainbow, i can fly without wings,
i can dance without music, in my ears, music always rings..

gotcha!

i've been running all along
before the wind could sing a song
i did run, each time before it could strike
i escaped before it was more than mere "like"

not forever though, the times say
"may u fall for it", i can hear a soft pray
as if i tried playing hide and seek
and am caught finally, can no more play