Friday, March 30, 2007

Jahan nahi chainaa....vahan nahi rehnaa

Not really dukhi mann mere...but yes sun mera kehna...jahan nahi chaina..vahan nahi rehna
I resigned yesterday. Without any admits in hand yet. Without any other backup obviously. No, I have not quit yet. I get relieved three months from the day my resignation is approved. So, it actually is a long time.

Just that I let the bird in hand fly off, and will now wait for others in the bush. :)
Simply putting, even in worst case, when I do not get aid and do not go to US for studies, I will switch, may be in a real hurry. Whatever be the case, I guess even the worst will be better than coming to office daily and doing nothing. Nothing, that's exactly what I have been doing since last one month, no let me not lie here, since last 7 weeks or may be more. So, in a nutshell, if I am rusting, I should get the taste of the real world. I must struggle, I must fight to survive. That is what life is all about. Challenges and risks. And, I just accepted one. After a long time though.

It's been more than 20 months when I joined this firm. And, obviously I did not join to chat and orkutting all the 6 hours I am in front of the PC. The rest I spend by eating, chatting, drinking tea, frequent trips to the loo and using the office free local telephone. That's what I have been doing lately. And, I don't think I actually need to increase my typing skills by practicing chatting with four friends at a time. Nor do I need to know about every ones life by poking my nose in their scrap books and making up stories as to what might have happened actually which made them write those scraps. I did not do my graduation to excel in these skills. These I already had. And my company is just not making me what I am not and want to be.

I always thought I did not have a dream. That there were people who knew what they want from life, but I did not. I was wrong. I know what I want. Thanks to the company I am in, i know I do not wanna chat all my life. I do not wanna see orkut's blue page all through the day. I want to work. I want to use my grey cells. I want to live a meaningful and challenging life, rather than a slow, monotonous and easily earned one. It is so good to know that I had a dream all along. Now, having resigned makes me feel so strong and bold. I am not afraid of what may happen. I am just ready to take the risk. Risk that I have to take for my dreams to come true. This is definitely a small price.

Dreams do not come free
They charge you, your comforts your sleep
If it is what you want,
Be ready to face it all
Pack the luxuries and inertia, these you should not keep
Only let your confidence and hardwork accompany you
On this journey, and be what you want to be.

You have one life, ypou have one chance
You have this once, to prove yourself
Go, reach out, shoot
Put back all fears on shelf
Failure tastes better than regret.
Move it, whatever you dream you definitely shall get

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