Tuesday, October 30, 2007

As fall sets, and leaves get all colored
I can't help but wonder
How in it's last inning of life
The tree still has so much to offer

It can bring a smile on any face
It can light up anyone's day
They are a reason in themselves
To smile and be gay

Does the tree have no fear?
Of nearing it's end
Isn't it nervous! Isn't it aware!
Of what's coming next!

May be it just has a different outlook
Not it's last season, it is its last chance
Last chance to spread love, to spread smiles
To make this world more beautiful, for every glance.

He left hints everywhere, to make me understand
The importance of giving, of loving, of sacrificing
I see Him through the leaves, smiling
Hoping I be what He wants me to be.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Looking Inside again....

I am not sure if I should do this introspection here, on the blog, or not. So, I might erase it soon. Anyway, I want to admit my mistakes. Well, not just mistakes, but real insensitive remarks I made against people who had been very helpful. I did something I would not want anyone to do to me. I am guilty and regretful. But, I can't go and apologize. I only have to make sure I do not do this in future, cause words hurt more than swords and esp. when coming from someone you thought was a friend. It feels you were cheated all along.

I was not very close to these people, but then they really helped me a lot initially. Just feeling that gratitude I should have restrained myself from saying anything against him. I mean, I will not go into what I said was right or wrong, but I should have had some firewall. I can't let all data that is generated in mind pass through my lips without any filter! When the same thing happened with me, I felt like crying. And, I felt horrible, sad and yes cheated. I felt in the disguise of a friend I had been talking to a monster all along. Well, when I did that, he must've felt the same. So, I just got what I myself had passed along as the token.

It;s only fair I would say that I was insulted the way I was. I'm not going into the severity of what I said and what I was told, but in essence, it's the same thing. God wants me to learn a lesson here. And, if I do not stop for a second and pay thought to it, I can keep repeating the same thing. I'm not a teenager! I'm a 24 yr old girl, who knows how life is led, who can manage a lot of things herself, then why can't she manage her words! Why can't she keep a hold on that tongue? It's worse than any other weapon. I just have to realize this.

Thanks God, for teaching me a lesson. I will keep in mind that You only wanted me to learn something here. I do not think lowly of that guy who was made instrumental in giving me something that I deserved. I do not hold anything against him, I will try not to I mean.

Love to my Lord,

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Everyday a miracle....

I'm just overwhelmed to see His love. How I go through each day is a miracle in itself..I've had totally unknown persons come and offer academic help, and that even made me wonder if it was an angel and would disappear after taking me out of the $#!t holding me by hand all along.
It's nothing less than a miracle that I'm still sane and surviving with my TA job. It was completely maddening when I came to know I was TAing for 3574. Oh! What a course! An EE graduate being asked to go on a QT war, totally unarmed! But just small beautiful things keep happening and I'm totally awestruck. I have this thing to read for HW4, cause it is due tomorrow, and the professor said I should expect a lot of them today during my office hours. I just had an idea someone could have already submitted the HW, and lo and behold! there was a HW already there waiting for me to come and have a look at it! I mean I've never seen a submission 2 days before the due date in this course! What should I call it if not His miracle, His love?
I'm so so grateful Ma, thank You tonnes.
Love You lots. :)