I don't know where I am going. I look more clueless than anyone else around. And, I have a two yr working exp, if I may say, in Networking. I should then ideally stick to this area and not bother about what my intuition says at times. But, not only intuition, it's also my lack of confidence on any area that is making me wonder that may be I am in the wrong place. May be I don't belong here. Then the logical part of my mind, and my mom's taped discourses from my head, and more on phone, say that I can do it. There's nothing that I won't be able to do with Lord's support all along. (I can actually write more than half a dozen papers on my mom's motivating lectures)
I go to this thesis defense and the guy has more than 35 papers to his credit already and 10 under review!!!!! That too in 3.5 yrs!!!! What kinda average is that?! I mean he has published more than a paper a month!!!!!! Look at me here! And people say you shouldn't compare with others in grad school!!! Such people are there to motivate and inspire others. I'm like awestruck! He's smart I know, but this is a genius's work! I want to go upto that level one day. I may not be able to finish my PhD and MS in 4 yrs and I may not be able to publish those many papers in my grad life but I want to try do something that can make a new grad student look upto me and wanna be like me one fine day.